Funny Stuff Every Married Man Can Relate To

Lemuel Irabor

My wife and I always  compromise; I admit I'm wrong  and she agrees with me.
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It doesn't matter how often a  married man changes his job,  he still ends up with the same  boss—HIS WIFE.
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They call our language the  mother tongue because the  father seldom gets to speak.
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H - "Hello?"

W - "Honey, it's me. Are you  at the club?"

H - "Yes."

W - "Great! I am at  the mall two blocks from  where you are. I just saw a  beautiful mink coat. It's  absolutely gorgeous!! Can I  buy it?"

H - "What's the price?"

W - "Only $1,500.00."

H - "Well, OK, go ahead and  get it, if you like it that  much..."

W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership  and saw the 2001 models.  I  saw one I really liked.  I spoke with the salesman, and he  gave me a really good  price...and since we need to  exchange the BMW that we  bought last year..."

H-"What price did he quote  you?"

W - "Only $60,000..."

H - "OK, but for that price I  want it with all the options."

W - "Great! But before we  hang up, something else..."

H - "What?"

W - "It might look like a lot,  but I was reconciling your  bank account and...I stopped  by the real estate agent this  morning and saw the house  we had looked at last year.   It's on sale!!  Remember?  The one with a pool, English  Garden, acre of park area,  beachfront property."

H - "How much are they  asking?"

W - "Only $450,000 - a  magnificent price...and I see  that we have that much in the  bank to cover..."

H - "Well, then go ahead and  buy it, but just bid $420,000.  OK?"

W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll  see you later!! I love you!!!"

H - "Bye...I love u too..."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his  hand while holding the phone  and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this  phone belongs to?"
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Q: Why did God create Adam  first and Eve as second?

A: Because He wasn’t  interested in listening to  anyone telling him how to  make Adam.
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A husband read an article to  his wife about how many  words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to  his wife and asked, "What?"
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Wife: Dear, this computer is  not working as per my  command.

Husband: Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband!
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Q. What is the difference  between the words Incomplete and Finished ?
A. A man without a wife is  incomplete. After getting one,  he's finished.
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Even though there was a  blizzard raging outside, I  made it the half-mile to the  bakery, where I asked the  owner for six rolls.
“ Your wife must like rolls,”  he said.
“How do you know these are  for my wife?” I asked.
“Because your mother  wouldn’t send you out in  weather like this. ”
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@Basston @Meself @Pedro_P @PK47 @mircteryx
@Dev

Viney Mittal

hahahahahahhaah. just great.. ;-)))))

sanjurajin

Great

booklover1980

Hahaha hilarious

Sharad

good one

soothsayer

ashising

wicked

Slit69

Absolutely loved the one with the cell phone!

mirzolino

So funny

andy161161

Great joke. Do keep posting more