PUN-ishments

narasik56

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it simply waved!

Why was the toilet paper rolling down the mountain?
To get to the bottom!

Who said grapes are soft? They never cry when you step on them, they just let out a bit of wine!

“Why is there music coming out of your printer?”
“That will be the paper jamming again!”

I wonder how letters ever get to the recipient. The envelopes, after all, are stationery.

What lies on the ocean bed, twitching uncontrollably? A nervous wreck!

Two wi-fi antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic!

Have you heard about this dude who had to have his left leg and left arm amputated after a car crash? -- He's all right now!

A bacon sandwich walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.
“Sorry,” growls the bartender, “we don’t serve food here.”

So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'!

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet'!

When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder!

I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back!

My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me, or at least sew it seams.

People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box!

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize!

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester!

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind!

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down.!

My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast !!

Lemuel Irabor

Nice..