JOKE BANK 20-09-2017

allinrana

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.




Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."


Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"
Student: "A heart attack."




Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"




Teacher- Hw old are you?
Pappu- Plz see in school Register.
Teacher- From Where are you?
Pappu- Take a look at school records.
Teacher- What do you love the most, the mother or father?
Pappu- Ask my sweet heart.
Teacher- Where's your heart?
Pappu- Ask your daughter.





Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …
Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”.
Lady : I can’t see your computer..
Help-desk: No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!
Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it.
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?


Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below
a tube light with a open mouth?
A:Because his doctor advised him
“Today’s dinner should be light”



Sardar’s Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Don’t Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate “Bachelor Again”.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is “Married Again”.

Venky

Good jokes. Especially the teacher-pappu one.... Good way to relive tension

prateek2950

nice collection..