Why Women Are Still Attracted to 'Benevolently Sexist' Men.

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Is he being polite or sexist?
Credit: Iakov Filimonov/Shutterstock
▼ If a man offers to help a woman with her heavy suitcase or to parallel park her car, what should she make of the offer?
Is it an innocuous act of courtesy? Or is it a sexist insult to her strength and competence?
Social psychologists who describe this behavior as " benevolent sexism" firmly favor the latter view.
But researchers have also revealed a paradox: Women prefer menwho behave in ways that could be described as benevolently sexist over those who don't.
How could this be?
Some say that women simply fail to see the ways benevolent sexism undermines them because they're misled by the flattering tone of this brand of kindness. Psychologists have even suggested that benevolent sexism is  more harmful than overtly hostile sexismbecause it is insidious, acting like "a wolf in sheep's clothing."
As social psychologists, we had reservations about these conclusions. Aren't women sophisticated enough to be able to tell when a man is being patronizing?
Surprisingly no previous research had tested whether women do, in fact, fail to recognize that benevolent sexism can be patronizing and undermining. And given our backgrounds in evolutionary theory, we also wondered if these behaviors were nonetheless attractive because they signaled a potential mate's willingness to invest resources in a woman and her offspring.
So we conducted a series of studies to further explore women's attraction to benevolently sexist men.
What does benevolent sexism really signal?
The concept of benevolent sexism was first developed in 1996. The idea's creators argued that sexism is not always openly hostile. To them, attitudes like "women should be cherished and protected by men" or behaviors like opening car doors for women cast them as less competent and always in need of help. In this way, they argued, benevolent sexism subtly undermines gender equality.
Since then, social psychologists have been busy documenting the pernicious effects that benevolent sexism has on women.
According to studies, women who acquiesce to this behavior tend to become increasingly  dependent on men for help. They're more willing to allow men to tell them what they  can and can't do, are more ambivalent about thinking for themselves, are less ambitiousand don't perform as well at work and on  cognitive tests.
Given these documented downsides, why are women still attracted to this behavior?
The answer could lie in what evolutionary biologists call " parental investment theory."
Whereas men can successfully reproduce by providing a few sex cells, a woman's reproductive success must be tied to her ability to complete months of gestation and lactation.
During much of human history, a woman's ability to choose a mate who was able and willing to assist in this process – by providing food or protection from aggressors – would have increased her reproductive success.
Evolution, therefore, shaped female psychology to attend to – and prefer – mates whose characteristics and behaviors reveal the willingness to invest. A prospective mate's muscular physique (and, today, his big wallet) certainly indicate that he possesses this ability. But opening a car door or offering his coat are signs that he may have the desired disposition.
Women weigh in (▪ ▪ ▪)

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harpreetsembhi

Deep-rooted evolutionary biological programming; but it will change eventually. We are going in the right direction